Marriage

An open letter to the man that loves me through my anxiety

Thank you.

Thank you for your positive attitude no matter what life throws at us, no matter how worried or stressed I am. Thank you for the endless encouragement, words of wisdom, and for the faith you have in God’s plan for us.

Thank you for not getting upset when I shut down and can’t talk. Thank you for not hounding me with “what’s wrong” or “are you okay” questions when I need a second to catch my breath or clear my head. You have learned that I will be able to talk to you when I am ready. Your patience with me does not come easy I’m sure, but thank you for being patient anyways.

Thank you for grounding me when I feel like I’m drowning. Thank you for stroking my hair, rubbing my back, and squeezing me tight. The simple touch of your hands pulls me back to the surface and reminds me to be gentle with myself. Thank you for reminding me to breathe when I can’t seem to remember how to.

Thank you for loving me when I mess up. Sometimes my panic attacks make me do things I would never imagine myself doing. Occasionally my anxiety is something that you can expect and can predict, but other times it comes out as crankiness, despair or frustration. When we first met, I know you never thought you would deal with these kinds of things…thank you for staying with me anyways.

Thank you for staying calm and collected. Many people in my life have responded to my stress and emotions with irritation and ridicule. My panic feeds off of other people’s panic – thank you for never fueling that fire or telling me to “get over it.” Thank you for never belittling what I am going through and for understanding that I think differently.

Thank you for supporting me when I get sensitive and exhausted. Sometimes I get headaches or need to get away from the crowd of people. It can be draining when my senses become overwhelmed with everything around me. You let me recharge and have my own space. Thank you for leaving the party early with me or agreeing to a date night at home.

Thank you for letting me control my environment and living space. I know it is your space too but you have graciously let me change our environment to fit my needs. Thank you for not making me feel weird when I have to vacuum at 1 am before I can go to bed or when I have to get rid of the dog bed when it is functioning just fine.

Thank you for supporting self-care. When we first started dating, I was terrified when my therapist recommended medication. I had no idea what you would think of me or if you would think I was crazy for going to therapy and getting on medication. Thank you for loving me through my problems and for never saying anything negative thing about seeking professional help.

Thank you for recognizing that I am more than my anxiety. Thank you for seeing my strength, intelligence, and resilience. Thank you for believing in me and valuing my differences. Thank you for laughing at my jokes (most of them) and thank you for giving me the chance to love you. Thank you for being my best friend, mentor, and my biggest supporter.

Thank you.

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